Didn’t get into Oxford, Merry Christmas to me

Well I finally heard from Oxford and LMH, the answer was no. I haven’t been accepted there to study next year.

A part of hearing that news was unbearable to me, and I got really upset. Studying at Oxford has always been my dream, and its sad that it has had to end here.

But, another part of me is happy. I have an amazing back up to Oxford in the University of Kent, and I really do feel like I’m going to be content there.

Perhaps the concept of fate really does exist. I’m believing now more than ever that perhaps Oxford wasn’t meant for me and I will end up where I am meant to be. It’s now looking to be Kent. And I’m rather excited about that prospect.

xx

A Big Fat Rant, I’m Sorry Everyone

I have to get this off my chest before I explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had my second interview today and it was meant to be easier than the one before. I fucking wish! Massive apologies go out to all, I’m going to have the rant of the century.

1. Why the hell didn’t I get the nice, quirky interviewers from yesterday?! They were nice awesome people who completely and utterly understood me and the way my brain works, the interviewers who praised me for being ‘fascinating’ and ‘abstract’.

2. How is it relevant to ask if the Nazi’s were the ‘elephant in the room’? I know this is Oxford but fucking hell, please! Even if I knew what was meant by an elephant in the room, I still wouldn’t know how to answer your godforsaken question!!!

3. Why on earth do they make us interviewees sit on a sofa whilst we’re being interviewed? Its so bloody comfortable you can’t think!!

4. I knew this was going to go wrong at some point, and today was it. I am literally kicking myself, because I was frightened as hell and they knew it. One of the guys was like a rottweiler with a bone, tearing away at me until I wanted to cry

5. Not once in these last 2 days of interviews have I been asked the questions I was told to expect. So all of that preparation done on why I wanted to study history, why I wanted to go to LMH and why I wanted to go to Oxford in the first place was pointless. My interviews at this college are over now, so I’ve gone and wasted all of my time revising for something I didn’t need! Grrrrrrrrrrrr

6. My bloody radiator still isn’t working, after being here for 2 days in the freezing cold up here with a draughty window right by my desk, where I spend most of my time. So instead of a radiator, I have an electric heater plugged into the wall that smells like gas and looks so rickety it probably isn’t that far away from setting the room alight.

Worst mood ever, its so annoying. And after having the best day ever yesterday. I know after that pathetic excuse of an interview that they probably won’t offer me a place. And that makes me hate myself more than you could possibly imagine, as well as hating those who will undoubtedly make the decision.

Need to go find a cup of tea and some chocolate before I combust, I hate today

xx

Greetings from a land far far away

Greetings from a land far far away, and by that I mean Oxford. Never thought I’d find a place so full of geeks, and people more antisocial than I am! To be honest, I don’t think I’m liked all that much for being a commoner, but I don’t care. I made it here and that’s all that matters. No one was expecting me to get an interview, but I did. So you posh lar-de-dah cretins, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Have met some lovely people today though, one guy I started talking to because his mum introduced us, how cute. He’s a northerner, so like me has the whole accent issue, and like me he’s the only person applying from his school, which is also a comprehensive. So Jack is officially in my good books, with our little group of Classicists/Historians who broke away from the clique to spin on spinny chairs and chat about how we got to this stage of applying to Oxford, and our travel stories.

Am now sitting in my drafty room (drafty albeit awesome room) at the lovely old desk in a spinny chair writing this blog post. I actually fancied being social but everyone’s disappeared, and I haven’t really gelled with my corridor neighbours. So tempted to yell at them ‘iz it coz I iz common yea?’ just to see their reactions. Well stuff them, they can have their own little clique, and I shall bugger right off. I’m not that bothered by their childish games. Its more of a testament that I’ve made it this far than it is for them. No one was expecting this of me, so have that!

Found out from the meeting our group had with the history tutors who would be interviewing us over the next few days that there were around 30 of us and only 8 places at this college for next year! I’m praying I’m one of them, this college is amazing. From the minute I got into the taxi at the station in Oxford, I loved the city. From the moment I got out of the taxi, I loved LMH. I just hope that LMH loves me.

First interview is tomorrow at 11:10am, got to be down for breakfast at 7:30 though, register at 8:30, pick up the article I need to read at 9 and analyse for the interview at 9:10 before the actual interview.

Uh oh, kill me now or wish me luck, whichever one you think I’ll need most

xx

Influx of Christmas Songs (WOO), Oxford Interview next week, Christmas Countdown and that curious case where I now look like a Blackforest Gateau

For the past week, I have become overly attached to the radio, especially when I’ve been sitting on my bum revising, doing homework or wrapping presents. And now December has rolled around, the chorus of epic Christmas tunes has graced my ears and I feel happy 🙂 Christmas is one of my favourite times of year by far, because there’s food, alcohol, presents and time off school. Oh, and the potential for snow 😀 Damn to all the scrooges out there who hate this time of year.

Cannot wait for the big day, seriously. I am such a big child when it comes to Christmas. No matter how old I get, I will wake everyone in my house up at 4am to open presents. Its just me, the excitable hyper child who loves Christmas. Expected sight of me on Christmas Day, bouncing around in a Christmas hat, dopey from too much wine and singing the Pogues ‘Christmas in the Drunk Tank’ as loud as I can get it. Life does not get cooler. Christmas has got so much better since I am not dragged kicking and screaming to my dad’s to make small talk and pretend I like my stepmum. Tedious for the soul.

13 days till we break up from school for the holidays, yay, and 22 days until Christmas day 🙂 roll on Christmas I say.

I finished my NaNoWriMo writing challenge. ‎93 pages, 50,013 words, 270,572 characters, 1,106 paragraphs or alternatively 3,487 lines. So damn pleased with myself, especially given in the last week I really couldn’t be asked to write.

Have been on a supergeek trip today, wanting to be super organised and get all the homework done that I needed to do. So 3 english essays, some english research and history homework = feeling amazing having finished. Got so bored with no work to do that I did my sister’s homework too, so a Holocaust memorial statue and a mini essay done, and now I thought I’d turn to blogging to fill another hole of my time. See how finishing NaNoWriMo has left me with nothing to do? I used to use writing to fill my time, but the challenge is over.

But a new challenge is starting 😀 After many agonising months of contemplating deciding on whether I should apply to Oxford or not, and being told by some to go for it, some to forget it and some to make up my own damn mind. I am glad that I went with my gut and applied, with some good advice to aid me, because I now have an interview there to study History 😀 I am so happy that I have, and although I’m nervous, I know the experience is going to be amazing, and even if I don’t get in, I will be proud of myself for trying and getting as far as I did.

So next week will be filled with me setting off for Oxford on Tuesday afternoon, returning on Friday or Saturday afternoon. Whoa I’m there for a long time, this is going to be intense.

So to fit in with Oxford’s idea of being traditional and looking professional, I made the decision to dye my hair back to brown from red. I wish it worked tbh, because now I’m in the middle ground between red and brown. I look like a damn blackforest gateau. Damn you schwartzkopf or however it is you spell the name of your godforsaken brand.

Fingers crossed

xx