Finding A Balance – Relaxation Tips

After a rather inspirational assembly today from the head of yr12 and 13, I was thinking about how to get through the next 3 weeks at Sixth Form. He was saying that many people are thinking of giving up Sixth Form all together, but this half term was the hardest, and we just needed to slog it out until the end of it, then things will get much easier. He said that we should forget about school for half term at the end of February (which suits me perfectly fine as that’s the week of my birthday) and basically to relax.

So, from a self confessed relaxation junkie who gets majorly stressed at times, here are my relaxation tip and stress busters:

1. Incense sticks. You can get special stress relief ones for about £1 for a pack of about 20. I get mine from a little chinese shop in Romford, and buy them by the bulk. It’s been a year and I still haven’t got halfway through my batch. Even if it’s to help you to sleep or to put you in the right frame of mind and relax you, incense is a god send.

2. Hypnotherapy CD. I personally use Karen Hardy, Doors Of Perception. Most sceptics dismiss the role of hypnotherapy in achieving relaxation, but it is actually another godsend. It’s a hard feeling to explain, but you’re never unconscious, you’re always aware, but you’re just in a better place. You don’t fall asleep, it’s like that amazingly calm and serene moment just before you get up in the morning. You come out of the trance feeling ready to take on anything, even if it is just more relaxing.

3. Invest in a good boxset. I’ve done another blog post previously about my personal favourites, but find something you enjoy. When you’re all chilled out and relaxed, settle down in your pajamas with a hot drink to watch it, and indulge yourself.

4. A hot bath. There is nothing more relaxing and indulging than a hot bath with a really decent bath foam. You don’t need to splash out on a fancy bath foam for it to be decent, Radox is the best I’ve found so far. Put some calming music on, light some candles, immerse yourself in the water and forget your woes. The ultimate indulgence, never happening as much as we want it to. Usually it’s once a week for me, the rest of the time grabbed showers are all I can muster, but when you’re in relaxation mode, anything is go.

5. A good book. Nothing too heavy, perhaps a comedy, romance or a bio of your favourite celebrity. Lay back and enjoy it, immerse yourself in it and take time to enjoy it.

6. If you can afford the luxury, a massage never does any harm to your relaxation level. I had one done shortly after my birthday, and it was the most relaxing experience of my life, I came out feeling so chilled out and peaceful, it was bliss.

7. Pajamas. If you don’t have a decent flannel pair or a fluffy pair, you seriously need to get one. Relaxation is not complete without them. They make you feel safe, warm and secure, and are the most comfortable clothing imaginable for lying around watching boxsets drinking tea.

8. Lock up anything remotely educational. I’ve done this to myself once when stressing about work to the point of being close to a breakdown. This saved me. I had work to do, but I needed some time to myself, and so anything educational was off limits. That night was pure indulgence, and I woke up the next morning feeling motivated and ready to start my work.

9. Meditation. Don’t scoff at it sceptics, it actually works. Even if you just sit there in the relevant position, close your eyes and think, it works in a similar way to hypnotherapy as you can become inwardly absorbed and gather your thoughts together.

10. And finally, number 10. Spend time with your family and enjoy their company, even if they do drive you mad at times.

xx

Image

Sorry guys, I completely forgot to post yesterday, so I’ll be treating you to two posts today, this first one is on Image, which has become a key theme of today for me, and something that really sticks out in the stories that I’ve been told.

Image just dominates your life, and I’m going to use my day as an example of how image does this.

So, this morning, I wake up and set about finding something to wear. My mind is completely and utterly focused on how I’m going to look today. And so I pick my outfit, a grey and white shirt/jumper combo, grey pinstripe trousers and my military jacket. Why select that combination? It looks good, it gives off a smart image, like you need to when you’re dressing for Sixth Form. There’s that constant chorus of image stirring, and it’s not even half past 6 in the morning yet.

Get downstairs and make tea, drink tea and iron clothes. Image yet again, is it really necessary for my clothes to be so crease free? Technically no, but for the sake of image, yes.

I start getting dressed, and once I’m done I start doing my make up. Necessary? Not really, but yet again, I feel better wearing it and my image feels safe. And then, unbeknown why to me, I start to pluck my eyebrows. It’s my new obsession of late, I couldn’t face doing it before for fear of pain, but after trying it, the pain’s not so bad and I do it quite regularly. Image once more. Are you keeping count? I haven’t even left the house yet and I’ve been focused on the way I look almost the whole time.

Make it into school and image is forgotten about for the meantime, until the required breaktime check of the make up and hair. Hair needed to be redone as it was falling out of my thrown up bun. Oh dear, image yet again.

Get home to find out that a girl my sister goes to dancing with, who is a year younger than me, is suffering from anorexia. This really shocked me, because the girl was convinced that she was fat. In no way, shape or form was she fat. She had a lovely figure, almost hourglass, yet she felt the need to starve herself in order to achieve that ‘perfect figure’. I’d say hers was pretty perfect to start with. She’s now under the hospital because of it, and she looks insanely unhealthy now. What is wrong with people, why do we feel the need to lose weight when we’re fine in the first place?

Feeling downtrodden and in desperate need of not caring about image, I ate McDonalds, had a shower, put on my comfiest pajamas and tumbled into bed, which is where I am now watching Confessions of a Shopaholic.

I’m declaring to you all right now, I don’t have the perfect body, I eat an insane amount and my weight is variable. But I’m healthy, I’m neither underweight or overweight. I’m happy!

xx

On Edge

So, I’ve been alone for the last 8 hours being the ‘responsible adult’ to a 7 year old and 13 year old. It’s estimated that I’ll be here for at least another 10 hours, so I’m babysitting all through the night for my sisters, and I’m absolutely crapping it.

So far it’s been okay, I’ve watched a film with my 7 year old sister and left my other sister to her own devices, made them dinner when I’m a truly awful cook. Silly me undercooked the pizza so had to put it back in, but managed to make some chocolate cake, not bad. Played guess who with my younger sister and now she’s in bed.

But I’ll remain to be on edge because I’m being left alone all night in charge of 2 children. I’m kind of scared, despite the fact that the chances of anything going majorly wrong are like 1%.

I’ll be here holding my breath. Have a good night.

xx

Today I Met An MP….

Evening all, today I met an MP for my local area: Robert Halfon.

What an inspirational guy, he was everything I expected an MP not to be. Funny, approachable, open, honest, chatty, and genuinely passionate about the work he does and the ideas he’s dreaming up.

I met him with a few other Youth Councillors this evening and we asked him lots of questions about the current economic climate, local issues such as anti social behaviour, alcohol, transport, crime and health, and about his day to day life as an MP.

I truly don’t know how he manages to do everything that he does and stay awake, he assures me it’s due to a freakish amount of caffeine.

Great meeting, great man and great discussion. Hope to do it again.

Accident Prone, Two Words That Sum Me Up Perfectly

In the words of Brian McFadden, I’m a walking disaster, woooooooooo.

To be honest, there’s no need to be woooooooooing about it, it is an element of myself that well and truly sucks. Accidents deemed impossible or just down right bizarre happen to me.

Like last night for instance, just as I was about to take myself to bed in a rather bad mood (it’s better if I just outcast myself from the world when I feel this way, there’s no getting around me), when my foot decides to have a row with the bathroom door. Strange huh, what a weird concept to get your head around. But yes, whilst walking out of the bathroom in total blackness (how stupid of me), I somehow managed to catch my little toe in the gap between the edge of the door and the door frame whilst the door was wide open, falling into the wall and back into the door. Tell you what, it bloody hurt but I thought, it’ll pass. Took two painkillers for my trouble and went to bed.

I wish that was the end of it.

Ended up waking up almost every 2 hours to take more painkillers (think I took too many, but by this point it was either take more painkillers or scream with every movement I made and wake the whole house up). So I chose the former, and how I did not overdose was beyond me, although the nurofen meltlets I was taking (I’m a wuss and can’t swallow pills) take forever to kick in and last on average around an hour, if you’re lucky. It was either that or nothing I guess.

So, woke up this morning to a throbbing foot, and attempted to get out of bed. Fail. Fell over with the most intense pain I’ve ever felt in my life, it literally reduced me to tears. Made it out of bed eventually and hobbled downstairs. Started getting dressed to realise that my foot was all swollen up, to the extent that my formerly too big shoe was now extremely tight on my right foot. The day had already started badly.

Left the house early, so I could slowly hobble, take my time and not be rushed on my trek to the bus stop, carefully balancing my weight onto the inside of my bad foot given that most of my pain was when I put weight on the outside, swollen part of my foot.

In my auto-pilot walking to school mode, it slipped my mind to keep up this carefully constructed walking to save myself some pain, and I took a few steps putting my weight fully on my bad foot. A literal surge of pain went right through me and actually caused me to throw up in some random bush. I couldn’t actually believe it. Pain had never caused me to throw up before, until now.

I was literal minutes away from the bus stop, so I staggered there and sat down trying to compose myself. My mum was trying to get me to come home and have the day of school, but I thought, I’ve made it this far, I might as well go in.

That lasted a long time. Made it through assembly, made it through period 1, made it through 15 minutes of period 2 then gave up. Got my mum to come and get me and went home. Have spent most of my time propped up in bed with my foot resting on about 10 pillows, elevated above me, a cup of tea and a DVD. Not all bad, but I still can’t walk properly, I attempted this earlier when coming down for dinner, I had to slide down the stairs on my bum because my foot was being such a defective annoying limb.

So, either I grit my way through the pain tomorrow, find a pair of crutches to take the weight off it, or spend yet another day in bed resting it. I wonder…

xx

Loneliness

A thing that bugs me, someone who whinges about how lonely they are when they’ve got a whirlpool of support around them.

I feel like I’ve gained something back which was a really good thing only to lose it again because of the drive to not be lonely.

My rather short point tonight, hence this ranting, miniscule posting, is why are some women so bloody dependent on men? They feel like they can’t live without them. 2 months and already she’s getting too ‘lonely’ and feeling the need to cling on to yet another man. He sounds like a good guy, but to be honest? I’ve just got her back from the last one. And since then has been amazing, we’ve never been closer.

Hate to sound like a stroppy child, but I don’t like to feel I’m competing with someone who she barely knows because I’ve known her all my life. And no, I’m not jealous, I’m actually trying to be reasonable. They’re constantly on the phone, constantly talking, constantly meeting up and we just get shooed away so we don’t interrupt. And I just get lumbered with babysitting whilst she does all of the above.

Nice life of being the oldest, specially when you’ve got to be the rational one.

Note to all mothers if they happen to be reading this, if you get a new boyfriend, do not spend all of your time gushing about them, talking to them or meeting up with them. Your children will resent you because you don’t talk about anything else and won’t pay any attention to them because you’re caught up in your own little dream world of love and combating being lonely when really, you’re just in need of a lay.

Rant over, time to find something else to do.

Night all xx

Ambition

I thought that I’d make today’s post about Ambition as I’ve been told today that I’m radiating a lot of it today and in general in my life.

Whilst writing my 50,000 word novel for the NaNoWriMo challenge, I found myself doing a lot of research into Eton school, where one of the characters in my novel attended. Looking on their website in November, I found that they did a University Summer Schools program, a 10 day course which is comparable to university, an intense week and a bit of lectures, reading and homework, ideal for those who want to assure themselves a place at Oxford or Cambridge.

I thought to myself ‘Wow, this could be such an amazing opportunity for someone like me’. I’ve wanted to go to Oxford desperately since the age of 13, it’s always been a dream of mine. I have no shame in admitting I’m a geek, academic study has always interested me and I always have my nose in a book. Things that interest me are boring to other people, but I don’t care.

So I waited until the application form came up on the website this month, and printed it out, set on applying for a History course as it’s the one I want to do at university. After reading the form, I realised that I was going to have to get a reference from the head of yr12 and 13, and get my history teachers to fill in what we’ll be doing for the entire year.

Like a good little geek desperate to do this, I took in the forms yesterday and set about tracking down the teachers required. Harder than it sounds. Finally got a hold of one of my history teachers and handed him the form, asking him to leave space for my other history teacher to add his content. Got the sheet back today, he didn’t. Must be hard of hearing, but I’m grateful nonetheless. I’ll just print out another form and attach it so Mr Sarcastic (other history teacher) can write what he wants to write.

Handed my form to Buzz Lightyear (Head of Yr12 and 13) this morning while he was bantering with Cath about his tie (she wants to steal it). When I went into history period 4, Buzz was waiting for me, and took me out of lessons as he couldn’t fill in some of the form without information from me. So we went through it together, and I found out that he’d canvassed opinion from my teachers on whether I was good enough to go to Oxford or Cambridge and how I approached my studies. Turns out some of my teachers believed I would get an A* at A-Level (ha, I wish, but nice sentiment). The reference couldn’t have been nicer, and it put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

Just have to get Mr Sarcastic to fill in his part of the form then I can send it off. What started off as a maybe and a dream is now quickly becoming a reality, and I’m so excited for the future, to find out if they’ll accept me onto the course and actually doing the course.

xx

Survival

Evening all, after the day I’ve had, I don’t know about you but I could deal with some time off to sleep and laze around. I feel like I haven’t had time to recuperate over the weekend and so I feel like a car running on fumes.

The day started alright I suppose, it really was a Mundane Monday by all accounts, getting had a go at in English, running around trying to find the teachers I needed to sign my forms, being told off in a jokily way for openly admitting in history that I found the topic boring and was about a minute away from lapsing into a coma. Looks like honesty may not always be the best policy there.

It’s not been the greatest day, and so I thought I’d share with you my Survival Guide to Sixth Form tips, many of which I’ve had to use today in order to remain somewhat alive.

• Cannot emphasise how much it helps to butter up your teachers and get them on your side. It’s so simple yet effective, that’s the beauty of it. Something as simple as asking them how they are or wishing them a good weekend/holidays on a Friday or a last day of term can get you into their good books and keep you there with minimal effort.
•  Be witty. Quite hard for people who it doesn’t come naturally to, but people like a witty sense of humour.
•  Don’t take things too seriously. I can guarantee that if you do, you’ll burn out in less than a month.
•  Make time for yourself as well as sticking to deadlines and doing the work you need to do. Otherwise, you’ll burn out and you’ll be no use to anyone.
•  If you need help, say so. Don’t suffer in silence. Ask your friends or teachers and they’ll help. You might be scared of handing in a piece of homework late, but if you explain to your teacher why, they’ll understand and will, 9 times out of 10, give you an extension.
• Try to get some work done in your free periods. Harder than it sounds, especially if yours is loud and crowded, but then you can go home and relax rather than stressing over work.
• Chocolate is your best friend, especially during stressful times at sixth form.
•  Your form tutor is the teacher you’re most likely to have a laugh with. Don’t piss them off, because if you get into trouble, they’ll be on your side if you get on with them
• General studies is the biggest waste of time in the world. Don’t stress about it, it’s not important. All good universities don’t accept it as a proper subject.
•  It’s so tempting to buy junk food out of the vending machines and fizzy drinks every lunch or break time, but make this a not very often thing. Because, believe me, 7 weeks and you will break out in acne and gain weight.
• Grit your teeth and hold back when being reprimanded. Just be calm and don’t retaliate. Reason with teachers as best you can.

So, there’s my words of wisdom on survival, they differ for some but I think that most can relate to them.

I’m off for the night, an unfinished history essay beckons.

xx

Sluggish Sunday

We’ve all been there; Sunday is just not the most cooperative day of the week. You’ve had your fun Friday and Saturday night, and Sunday night is just full of the depression that your bedtime tonight will be an early one and you’ll have to face the humdrum of a Monday morning plus a nice early wake up call. No wonder people hate Sunday’s.

It would be partially bearable if there was anything decent on TV, but alas, there never is on a Sunday. It’s sad times, you either find something productive to do, or you sit there and die of boredom.

I’ve been the eternal couch potato today, waking up, writing some of my essay whilst sitting in bed, eating my life away, finally getting up to find out that there were no jobs going at the Tesco’s close to my Nan. Bad times, I need a job like pretty quickly. I turn 17 next month and need to start thinking about a car and insurance. Oh how mundane my life has got, money worries wearing me down.

So, I decided to do something productive, and found the numbers for almost every retail shop or supermarket chain in the towns around Waltham Abbey, where I live. So we had Waltham Cross, Hoddesdon, Cheshunt, Epping and Loughton, as well as Waltham Abbey itself. Sat down with the phone, and rang every last number on the list, about 30 in all. Not a single one had a single vacancy. Absolute depression plagued me when I realised how tough it was going to be to find a job.

Surrendering completely to Sluggish Sunday, I curled up on the sofa in my pajamas with a blanket over me, party rings in hand and a cup of tea, and started on a good old boxset of Charmed, my guilty supernatural pleasure. And it made me think, is this everyone’s standard Sunday activity? To me it makes sense, if you’re not humouring your relatives at your grandparents house before a roast dinner and making small talk, then what could be better than chilling out with a good DVD boxset? And so today, I give you my top 10 series to watch on DVD boxset.

Wire In The Blood – Okay, call me slightly morbid and a whacked out child, but I fell in love with the storylines I read about criminal psychologist Tony Hill and the murders he helped Bradfield Police investigate when I was 12. Not exactly appropriate reading for a 12 year old, but I couldn’t help myself, I loved it. It made sense that I would later fall in love with the TV series, starring Robson Green and Hermoine Norris. Granted, some bits are a bit graphic, but I just love the chemistry that Tony Hill and Carol Jordan have. When Hermoine Norris left, I refused to watch the show again, but failed slightly, watching some of the later series with Simone Lahbib in, but I just wasn’t feeling the chemistry. I’ve got the first 3 series on DVD, and will treasure the Tony/Carol chemistry forever.

Doctor Who – Feel free to laugh at me, I do love a bit of sci-fi fantasy. We all know it’s not real yet we become so immersed in the alternate reality where it is possible for all these things to happen. We pair off the characters in our head and it makes total sense to us as we watch their situations unfold. We treat them like we know them, and as if they’re actually real. I’ll admit, I shed a tear when the Doctor had to leave Rose in the parallel world and she admitted she loved him. The beauty of Doctor Who is that it can constantly change, you just need a different imagination to come up with freakish new creatures from the realm of impossibility.

Friends – Anyone who does not madly love this program and does not madly cackle when listening to it is borderline insane. This is one of the most hilarious sitcoms I have ever seen, every line makes me squirm with laughter. It makes you relate to your friendship groups and the things you get up to, being realistic every group has its stereotypes. You’ve got the Ross type nerds, the Rachel type ditz’s, the slightly obsessive Monica types, the dumb but funny Joey types, the slightly wacky Phoebe types and the sarcastic Chandler types.

The Tudors – Historians may turn their nose up at it for its inaccuracy, people may call it one step away from porn. Perhaps this is true, but it sure is addictive to watch. It has the drama with added sauce, and also a comedy element which I don’t think was meant to be very funny. This was indeed Henry VIII having a wank in front of his servant who was holding up a towel to catch his load let’s say. Don’t think it was meant to be funny but it sure had me laughing. Can Kings do anything without a servant?  Even funnier element, Anne Boleyn was in the next room sewing.

CSI – Gil the Bugman Grissom, say no more. He’s old, yet he has a quality about him, that geekish nature that makes everyone wish you were his Sara. From the Grissom/Sara flirtations to the Grissom/Sara relationship, engagement and marriage, I was enthralled by the show in general. I got so engrossed in it that I cried my eyes out when Warrick Brown died, he could never get together with Catherine now, and that upset me, like the sad person that I am. The only time I’ve never been able to face watching an episode of CSI was when the Quentin Tarantino directed episode ‘Grave Danger’ was shown, where CSI Nick Stokes was trapped in a box buried underground with the air running out. I’ve only ever watched this once, and it gave me a panic attack because I’m claustrophobic, never again believe you me. I refuse to watch on principle at the moment, because Grissom isn’t there anymore and has been replaced by a weird pockmarked Lawrence Fishburne as Ray Langston. He’s trying to be Grissom, and he fails, therefore I won’t even waste my time on the show anymore. Anything before the middle of Season 9 is great J

CSI Miami – CSI with added pizzazz. Only in this show could dressing in a pure white suit ever be practical for crime scene investigators. I can’t seem to notice that they really torture the characters, poor Calleigh’s been in a coma more times than I can count, and Eric seems to have a problem with bullets in his head. But I do love the show, and laugh maniacally every time I see Horatio say a one liner and put on his glasses, the theme tune slowly creeping its way in. 

Touching Evil – Some television genius, yet only ran for three series in this country. Heard it got remade in America, yet I refuse to watch on principle. If this series had more time to develop, it would easily hit number 1. I hated the fact that Rivers died in the last series though, he was a central character who kept things light hearted in the show. I really enjoy the way that each of the officers lives found a way into their work, through Creegan’s stalker threatening his family, to Taylor sleeping with a serial killer who held her hostage, to Rivers being killed by a grief councillor and Kreitman shooting the killer of young boys to make the world a safer place for his unborn child. Brilliant series, I just wish there was more of it.

House MD – Cannot profess my love for this series enough. Started watching it a few years back and fell in love with the House and Cuddy chemistry, yearning for it to progress further. The medical cases intrigued me, and I watched the shows so often that I began to know what tests they ran in what order, and what some symptoms could show. This show taught me what a lumbar puncture was, and taught me that ‘everyone lies’ and ‘it’s never lupus’. Watching the banter in House’s group dynamic always made me laugh, and always made me think how amazing it would be to work like that.

The Young Ones – Adrian Edmondson with ginger hair making a fool of himself as Vyvyan? Exaggerated comedy of the college group dynamic, living away from home. The hilariousness of Neil the hippy who constantly threatened suicide yet it always seemed to fall short. The household that lived on lentils and whose shopping list consisted of lentils and wallpaper. This is an amazing pick me up that will always bring a smile to your face when you’re feeling a bit low.

Jekyll – Slated in the reviews, yet this BBC remake starring James Nesbitt, to me, was pure genius. I love how Tom Jackman’s duality is portrayed, and how Hyde behaves when around other people. A moment that will always stand out for me was when Hyde killed a lion to save Jackman’s son, and sat in the lions cage, covered in blood, singing in the jungle. Absolute genius, a modern twist on a classic, I could watch it again and again.

So you’ve heard my opinion, care to share yours? Hope your Sunday night is somewhat more bearable.

xx

An Okay Day Turned Good Turned Bad

I am now the most freaked out girl in the universe, and am now feeling rather paranoid and apprehensive about ever leaving my house again in case I run into a person like I ran into today. Overexaggeration? Perhaps, but what happened today has really shaken me up and made me a bit pessimistic about the motivations some people have when they start talking to you.

Today started off alright, to be honest there was nothing special about it. It was a bog standard morning, kind of boring I suppose. I woke up, ate breakfast, did my homework, ate lunch.

It got a bit better when my Dad came over and we had a laugh taking the mick out of a situation he’s been in recently, and bitching about my stepmum’s alcoholism and her generally lovely temperament (hear the sarcasm rushing through those words?) He then offered to teach me to drive when I turn 17 at the end of next month. Brilliant, I won’t have to fork out as much for driving lessons.

My Dad left and I decided to go out shopping to get some Birthday cards and presents for the barrage of birthdays I have coming up in my group of friends and my family. Set off down to the town centre, picked up a few presents and got the bus to Waltham Cross, a town which is like a 10 minute bus ride away. The shops are better there.

So I got down there and wandered around, wanted to go to the library but it was shut, so ended up looking in a charity shop a few doors away from it to see if there were any bargains I could pick up. And this random guy, about 40 years old, is just staring at me like I’m a piece of meat. I actually felt so uncomfortable because, by the look in his eyes, he was like mentally undressing me and it made me feel sick to my stomach.

So why the hell was I stupid and replied when he started talking to me?

Him: (French accent) Hello

Me: (Weirded out) Hi

Him: What books are you looking for?

Me: Nothing specific, just having a general look

Him: (Picks up a book) This one looks good, it has love poems in it

Me: (Confused/Bewildered/Freaked Face) Right…

Him: You look really good. What are you doing tonight?

Me: Look, I don’t really want to be rude, I’m 16 years old, you’ve got the wrong idea, you’re too old for me and I’m leaving, okay?

So I leg it out of the shop and start walking away. Looked back, and he’s out of the shop also. I carry on walking, he carries on following. Brilliant, I can’t shake him off. So, like all good weirded out/slightly scared girls, I legged it as if my life depended on it, taking shelter in PoundLand.

Got the bus home and now I am sitting in my front room feeling nice and safe, after a nice cuddle from my little sister.

So, what have I learnt today? Never trust a weird French 40 something man’s motivations when he starts to speak to you in a charity shop. Don’t say a word, don’t get sucked in, and just leave. And get fit so you can leg it away faster 😛 And carry pepper spray just in case 😉

xx