I am very close to not being a sixth former anymore, and I have lost fascination with the idea of blogging my inner thoughts when it is used so very often to judge me or mock me. So I think this will be my last blog post.
It has been an eventful two years, I’m not going to say brilliant because it certainly hasn’t been, and there have clearly been very low moments of my life. I am looking forward to putting all of this behind me now, including this blog. This blog has seen me through some dark days, and now I think it is time to draw a line under everything and move on to a happier place.
So, I leave you with 18 confessions from my 18 years of life, most of them have really come to the fore in the last 6 months or so.
I think now is the time that I make these confessions as I begin to say goodbye to this stage of my life in favour of another.
1. I have had some pretty bad taste in friends over the years, but things have changed 🙂
2. I’m not the same person anymore. If you try and walk over me, treat me like I’m worthless then you’re gone from my life, easy as that.
3. I am terrible at taking care of myself when put under stress.
4. I hate social networking sometimes, but could never bring myself to delete my accounts
5. I have severe trust issues
6. I am dealing with so many confusing feelings right now that I am struggling to make sense of everything
7. I hold secrets for people I am no longer friends with, and every now and again I’m so tempted to just tell the world and screw the consequences. I don’t keep quiet out of loyalty anymore, its more self preservation and a sense of not caring.
8. I love my family but I cannot wait to escape them on a day to day basis and go to university.
9. I am absolutely shit scared of being in control of my own finances once I’m at uni
10. I feel like a nerd for insisting that all of my 150 odd books come to uni with me, although I have no idea where to put them.
11. I cry for the stupidest reasons
12. I feel like I’ve discovered a new part of myself, and it feels nice to enjoy going out, having a good time and being sociable. But I will still always be the girl who prefers some snuggly pajamas, fluffy socks, a cup of tea and a book in bed.
13. I don’t think I will ever pass my driving test or own a car. I’ve failed twice now and it doesn’t seem like much, but its really knocked my confidence.
14. I always take failure or rejection badly, really badly, as in cry for hours and feel like giving up on life badly.
15. People think I’m a hyperchondriac, and it frustrates me so much that on the surface I look fine but on the inside, I feel broken because of my joint problems.
16. A book had never made me cry, until I’d read My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
17. I love people and being around them, but after a few hours I crave to be alone. It’s something I’ve never been able to switch off
18. I had 4 emotional outbursts/crying fits in about ten minutes yesterday because my family were talking about taking my ill cat to the vet and the possibility of her being put down
lifeofasixthformer 